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Dana Hope's avatar

A wise older woman once said to me, “Remember that for the man the workday is a sprint and for the woman it’s a marathon.” These simple words of wisdom changed my mindset from a nagging, resentful wife & mother who kept score to a more understanding woman able to give grace & request help kindly rather than demand it.

Thank you, Isa, for going there.

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Cari's avatar

Love it. "There’s no reason this can’t extend to housework, too."

I do my best to have the house decent or cleaned by the time my husband is home. Sometimes that means hurriedly grabbing things off the floor once I receive the "headed home" text. Sometimes it just doesn't happen - on those days I generally apologize and my husband is understanding. No he doesn't expect it of me, but I do. Why? If I was the one going out to work and provide for my family, what type of home would I want to come home to?

Growing through motherhood, wifery, and homemaking, I have come to find the things that bring me joy. The top of my list is the look in my husband's eyes when he comes home and smells dinner cooking. I'd die a million times over for that.

Additionally, once my husband is home and the house becomes a mess - because that's always accuring, right?! - he happily helps clean up. One day I thanked him for cleaning our daughters toys and this and that mess. He was shocked that I even noticed. That little bit of appreciation from me is equivalent to the look in his eyes when he comes home to dinner.

We are told in 1 Corinthians to respect our husbands, and they are to love their wives. We have different needs from each other. We experience joy and difficulty differently than our husbands. We have different weights on our shoulders. Living tit-for-tat has been the worst part of our marriage. But embracing our difference and communicating our struggles has made it easier for us to embrace our roles as husband/wife, father/mother, breadwinner/homemaker. It's easier for us when we try to find the joy in our duties.

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