Let him be a man

Sometimes, contentment in femininity is simply making peace with masculinity

It’s easy to say we want to be married to or raise “real men” when that means being protected, provided for, and cherished. It becomes more challenging when masculinity expresses itself in ways that feel risky, uncomfortable, or outside our control.

I wrote about this two years ago in my original post, “Let him be a man,” which paid subscribers can access in the archives. (I used to write more about femininity and relationships, content that I now cover over on Created Female, my mentorship circle for women.)

My husband and sons set out on a survival trip in a rain storm one summer, when my boys were 10 and 11. I’m pleased to say it was probably the most hardship my sons ever experienced, and proud to say they endured it admirably.

It taught me the importance of trusting men to be men, even little men, who all have to learn at a certain point in their lives what it means to set out into the wide, scary world, without their mother to hold their hand and mitigate any danger or hardship they may experience.

Men are simply different. As modern women rediscovering tradition learn to embrace our own femininity and the ways we are uniquely designed, we must also learn to cherish the ways men are different from us.

That often means understanding the they face danger and self-preservation differently that we do. It means they step into hardship, test their strength, and carry responsibility in ways that can make us uneasy. But this is part of how they were made.

Perhaps one of the most subtle ways a woman can resist God’s design is not by trying to become like a man, but by trying to prevent him from being one, both as a wife and (especially) as a mother.

This is not to shame women for worrying. Of course we want our husbands and sons to be safe. That instinct is natural. But constant anxiety, mothering, and attempts to control can quietly communicate something damaging: a lack of trust in the men God has placed in our lives.

Respect for men includes trusting their God-given instincts and abilities. We are not the ones who keep them safe through worry and warning. Men are called to protect, provide, and lead, and they need to know we trust them to carry that calling — not only toward us, but in their own lives as well.

Ultimately, this is an issue of surrender. When fear rises, we must decide where to place it: in the Lord, or in the circumstances that threaten our sense of security. Trusting God with the men we love is an act of faith — and of respect.

A woman who is content in her design can be content with the design of her husband and sons. And many men have risen to greatness because a woman believed in them enough to let them.

Read my full-length post, Let him be a man, here. Free subscribers can access one free post.